The word depression describes many different states of mind, from feeling a bit fed up through to full-blown clinical depression. It covers depression that has an obvious cause including bereavement. It covers depression that seems not to have any particular cause. It covers misery and unhappiness with current circumstances or unexpressed fear and anger. It could be manifesting in obsessive compulsive behavior. Sometimes depression takes very specific forms such as bi-polar (formerly manic) depression or may be associated with many psychotic conditions. Many of the other pages on this website are concerned with issues that may be depression linked so you may want to take a look at any that seem relevant to you via the home page or the menu on the right.
Depression is usually about trying to live in the past. Often it is as if a fragment of you has got stuck somewhere in the pain, fear or upset of that time or it is about issues such as guilt, shame and regret. Unhappiness may be rooted in similar areas but could be about what is going on in the present and could be more to do with frustration, discontent or sadness . A bereavement, which may be through death, a relationship ending, through job loss or change, may be recent or longer ago. Symptoms of all of these may include eating or sleep disturbance, lack of concentration or motivation, despair and suicidal thoughts. Feelings, especially of grief, can feel physical - as if your heart is quite literally breaking. Thinking may become muddled or irrational or stuck going over and over the same thing.
A common factor in all of the above is varying degrees of loneliness and isolation. Suzanne sees loneliness as the lack of something. You can feel lonely when alone or in a crowd of people. A relationship that is not going well can be a very lonely place. Loss may leave a very lonely space. A feeling of difference may lead to feelings of separateness and isolation.
What different forms of depression have in common are feelings of isolation or loneliness. Talking about what you in particular mean by depression, unhappiness or loss and your feelings and thoughts being received, recognised and accepted without being judged and in confidence is the essential starting place. Even with supportive and loving friends, there are often things that are difficult to share or commonly, a feeling that you may be ‘boring' them.
After establishing the ground then, it may be about looking to the past to be able to understand or re-view things in a new way with a view to leaving the pain behind. It may be about making changes in the present to thinking, feeling or behavior patterns. It could involve planning for re-shaping the future. Suzanne believes that…
WHEN A REAL CHANGE HAPPENS,
IT HAPPENS IN THINKING, FEELING AND BEHAVIOUR
Here are some tools and suggestions:
- Since depression is about living in the past (whereas anxiety is about living in the future), and the present is the only place where you can make changes and live effectively, bring yourself back to the present. Consider this and also use the following tips and suggestions to help you to do this.
- A good way to ground yourself in the present is through your senses - sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell. You can try giving your senses “treats.” Look or listen or touch or taste or smell something wonderful and notice what you are experiencing at this moment. As you can only do this in the present, it will bring you here!
- Do something physical but make it something that you enjoy. It could be yoga, running, a sport, the gym or dancing.
- Buy Suzanne's double relaxation CD, Adventures in Relaxation, and listen daily to one or other of the half hour relaxation adventures every day with the aim of giving yourself a mini holiday.
- Talk to someone. Talk to a friend or to the Samaritans but, if it has been going on for a while or seems particularly distressing or is impacting on your life, consider seeking professional help. See your GP. You can come to see Suzanne. You will find contact details right here on this website. If you live too far away to consult Suzanne, go to the National Council for Hypnotherapy or the General Hypnotherapy Register websites to find a well qualified hypnotherapist in your area.